We Want Another Sequel
by ClevelandtoCharolette
Summary: Uppset at the ending of POTC3, the characters file a complaint for another sequel. They then go to a Therapist to talk about it. Rated T for swearing


**Summary; The Pirates of the Caribbean cast gets uppset about the end of their trilogy. They file a complaint for another sequel, then got called by a Therapist to talk about it.**

**So yeah, inspired by the funny playwrite written on the LiveJournal of the amazing author Libba Bray (Author of A Great and Terrible Beauty)**

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****We Want Another Sequel!**

_(It's a lovely day. The sky is bright blue, the sun is shining, and the Caribbean Sea is glittering prettily. We zoom in on a small shack on the shore. Inside sits Captain Jack Sparrow, William Turner II who's sitting in a chair in a bucket filled with sea water, Elizabeth Turner/Swann, Tia Dalma aka Calypso, William Turner III (aka Billy), Captain Hector Barbossa, Davy Jones, and a tall girl with unusually large blue eyes, dark lips, red hair, and has a clipboard. She is the Therapist, Yuri.)_

Yuri: Okay, let's start. Now, we all know why were here, don't we?

Will: _(Points at DAVY)_ He killed me?

Davy: Oh shut it you whelp! You're still alive!

Will: My dad cut out my heart and put it in a chest. Not sure the really classifies as 'alive'

Davy: If anyone should be complaining, it's me!

Yuri: But we're not here to talk about that! Now, we're here because some of you filed a request for a fourth movie.

Will: Yes! I do! I want my life back to be with my wife and kid!

Yuri: Sure….but that doesn't mean you should need another sequel…..

Jack: Well you would want a sequel too if the story ended with you in a little dinghy!

Barbossa: But that was by your choice you slap jawed idiot!

Jack: **BUT YOU STOLE ME **_**-**__censored__**- **_**BOAT YOU LOW LIFE SCUM BAG!**

Billy: _(giggles)_ censored hahaha!

Elizabeth: Jack! He's nine!

Yuri: Jack! Watch your language! _(rummages in over-large purse)_ For that, you have to wear the dunce hat!

Jack: What!? Do I have to!?

Barbossa: Yes. Yes ye do.

Calypso: O'viously, yew di' not 'ear da "ave to" een 'er sentance.

_(Everyone stares at Calypso openly)_

Yuri:_ (Turning around and calling to her assistant, GEORGE W)_ Can we get a translator in here!?

Davy: She said "Obviously, you did no here the "Have to" in her, (meaning you Yuri) sentence."

Yuri: Oh, okay. GEORGE W! NO NEED FOR THE TRANSLTOR! WE GOT ONE! And Jack, take the dunce hat.

Jack: But I-!

_(Yuri jams the dunce hat on his head. WILL turns to DAVY JONES)_

Will: How could you understand her?

Davy:_(Shrugs)_ Well, when your in love with her for a few decades, it gets easier to understand the odd some-what Jamaican accent.

Calypso:_ (Points warningly to DAVY)_ I 'vwill opein a cain of ociean whoop 'ess on your 'ess Davey Jones

_(All look questioningly at DAVY who translates)_

Davy: "I will open a can of ocean whoop ass on your ass Davy Jones."

Elizabeth:_ (covers BILLY's ears hastily)_ Please! Everyone, he's nine!

Barbossa: So? He'll learn them one day. Better now then later I always say.

Elizabeth: Barbossa, when I take your advise on raising mine and Will's child is the day you brush your teeth.

Yuri: Well that was interesting! Piratical teeth hygiene is quiet funny. And for the next part of this, I'll start with him. Billy, if the writers decide to make another movie, what do you want in it?

Billy: To be a teenager and have a girl.

_(Everyone stares blankly at BILLY.)_

Jack:_ (points at ELIZABETH)_ Remember love, you raised him

Elizabeth: So? _(points to WILL)_ He helped conceive him.

_(Pause for an extremely long awkward silence)_

Yuri: This is turning into a really interesting talk session. Anyways, Will, what do you want?

Will: To not be dead is a good starter…..

Davy: You're not dead! I am!

Will: My heart is beating in a box!

Barbossa: Aye, but does that mean your dead?

Will:_ (Exasperated) _Yes! Yes it does!

Yuri: Now, let's not doubt other's opinions…..Barbossa, what do you want?

Elizabeth:_ (Crosses fingers)_ Please say a dentist appointment….please say a dentist appointment…

Barbossa:_ (Glares at ELIZABETH)_ I want to keep the _Pearl_.

Jack:_ (Jumps up and points at BARBOSSA)_ **No fair! The **_**Pearl**_**'s MMIIIIINNNNNNEEE!!!!!!!**

Yuri: Jack! No yelling! Do you want a straight jacket too!?

Calypso: 'E ser 'ees 'ell needs v-one.

Billy: Translation please?

Davy: "He sure as hell needs one."

Elizabeth: Everybody! Please!

Yuri: Okay, Elizabeth and I are getting sick of this. Next one who swears, I have an entire roll of ultra-sticky duck tape in my bag!

_(Silence)_

Yuri: Uh….okay. Jack, what do you want?

Jack:_ (He doesn't meet anyone's eyes as he does a little finger push together)_ Well, there's this really beautiful lass with this dress-

Yuri: (_Exasperated) _I said WHAT do you want! Not who!

Jack: Oh! Okay then love! I want me _Pearl_ back. And the Fountain of Youth. I mean, c'mon, living **forever!** _(Thinks for a moment)_ And Barbossa dead.

Barbossa: ARGH! Ye bastard! Ye can't be wishing for that!

Yuri: THAT'S IT! I WARNED YOU! _(Grabs overly large purse, rummages a bit and pulls out duck tape. After many failed attempts, she sticks it over BARBOSSA's mouth)_

Billy: Hahaha! He said bas-

Elizabeth: Billy, you finish that sentence and I'll bring the Kraken back.

Davy: The Kraken's dead you louse!

Elizabeth:_ (to BILLY)_ Your father can bring the Kraken back then

Will: I can?_ (ELIZABETH kicks him)_ Oh! I mean, yes, yes I can.

Yuri: _(Sigh)_ This reminds me why I hate families! Onward. Calypso, what do you want in another film?

Calypso: vone beeg battal vwith me be-eeng deh prob-laim. Dat's vwhat deh audieance vwants tew see.

Davy:_ (Tiredly) _"One big battle with me, Calypso, being the problem. That's what the audience wants to see." And I have to disagree. The audience wants to see me attack another ship with me Kraken!

Yuri:_ (Wisely) _Ah, but your dead, so no one actually cares about you.

Elizabeth: So why is he here?

Yuri: _(shrugs)_ 'Cause I didn't feel like bringing Norrington.

Billy: Why not?

Yuri:_ (Leans down to BILLY smiling sweetly)_ Because he kissed your mommy even though he knew your mommy and daddy were engaged.

Will:_ (Jumps up and splashes water everywhere)_ He did what!?

Elizabeth:_ (Jumps up too)_ Will! It's not what you think!

Yuri:_ (Rummages in over large purse for popcorn. Pulls it out and starts munching)_ Oh! It's like a soap opera, but better!_ (Hold out to JACK)_ Want some?

Jack: I'll stick to rum thanks.

Yuri:_ (Disappointed)_ Oh. Billy? Barbossa? Calypso? Davy? Ya want some?

_(Suddenly, a commotion of screams and cries of 'Will!' and 'Jack!' and 'OMG! POTC!'0_

Yuri: Dang it! Fangirls! Every man and women for his or herself!_ (turns to run, then turns back to WILL and ELIZABETH)_ See me next we for family counseling. Now, **RUN**!

_(Everybody runs, except WILL who's left alone in the bucket yelling for help. Then he's attacked by Fangirls.)_

_**FIN**_

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**Well, I hope you enjoyed it. I worked for a day or two on it, and I might make a second. So, yeah, message!!**


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